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Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

Meowlzebub

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

I demand to see a lawyer. May I say, you've come to the right place.

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

Hellbillies.

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

Descartes's Demon

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"My name's Karezog, Despoiler of Worlds, Devourer of Souls. I'll be your server tonight."

"Yes, I have worked with Donald Trump's hair."

'It was a split decision.'

Dave began to suspect that he had moved next door to the neighbour from hell.

'Get me Hell, Miss Saunders. I wish to sell my soul.'

"Dad, do you believe in God?"

"Department of infernal affairs. How may I misdirect your employee pension plan?"

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

"Hey - are those scented candles???"

'At least it's a dry heat'

"Oh, by the way, as you were on your way down here your lottery ticket won seventeen million dollars."

Human Resources and Inhuman Resources

Excercising demons

'Dearest, do you smell something not burning?'

'Don't answer the door. It's probably Charlie Sheen.'

'Careful, this plate isn't hot.'

'Hey! Where's the fire?'

'Bad sport.'

"Yeah but he wasn't just the devourer of souls, he also created lots of jobs!"

"Ok, first the good news..."