Demonic Humorist Gifts

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Take me to your Larder!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"The Eggsorcist"

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

Tim Burton

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'Read that last part back to me.'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

God passing the time.

Meowlzebub

"Death coach..."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'