Demonic Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'I had an overwhelming urge to be nice again. I think I need a holiday.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Another day at work would be one too many...

Night-time halo

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

"Needs to get a life"

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"The Eggsorcist"

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"OMG, LOL!"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"How about if we just winter in hell?"