Demanding Diner Pillows

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"For drinks or dinner?"

'How would you like your toast?'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"A votre sante!"

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"Just a drop."

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'Meat loaf again!'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

"Our cook is working through a lot of stuff."

Man eating his meal with his feet.