Risk-taking Diner Pillows

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'How is the water prepared?'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"For drinks or dinner?"

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

I recommend the ketchup.

'You don't need a menu here, mate. If you can't see it on my apron, we don't sell it.'

'Waiter there's a mouse in my soup.'

'So what's it to be, Indian cuisine, Chinese take out or are you going to do the usual Russian Roulette?'

"Of course i can microwave your meal for you, but believe me - it won't make it taste any better."

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

"Actually, I recommend the lobster. . . because it's starting to spoil!"

How to sell healthy food...

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

"I'll start with the arugula-and-goat-cheese salad, and then I'll have the blackened wolf."

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

'Eat it while it's still £6.50.'

'I highly recommend the mousecargot.'

"I'd like to try something different- something that takes a lot of guts to eat."