Delayed Gratification Fan Gifts

"Promise you won't open it before Christmas?"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'

Old-fashioned computer

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

Beachy Hair

"He's at that awkward age."

French Animal Noises.

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

Hugs and knucklebumps don't mix.

Tapped Tree

Surveillance over the suggestion box.

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

Ellis K., Appliance Faith Healer

Street violinists unknowingly plays a concert.

Three ducks: two have normal bills, third one has bill turned around like bill of cap.

Frittering a Banana by Electricity.

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

Time For This Odd House

Mountain Bike tracks.

"I can't get the Grease soundtrack out of my head."

A praying mantis bride throws her husband's head to a crowd of wedding guests.

"Absolutely not. I don't give my provenance over the phone."

'I don't care if you did say he could try it out. Get rid of him!'

'Sure I can chat - just let me pull over to the shoulder.'

"I was hoping my employee evaluation would be more than, 'You don't suck.'"

Arnie impressed the babes with his new sundial watch.