Delayed Gratification Fan Gifts

"Promise you won't open it before Christmas?"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Hot Pie Therapy

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'

Old-fashioned computer

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

Beachy Hair

"He's at that awkward age."

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

French Animal Noises.

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

Shelton takes an ill-fated flight on his plug-in heli-pack.

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

Tapped Tree

Hugs and knucklebumps don't mix.

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

Surveillance over the suggestion box.

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

Frittering a Banana by Electricity.

Ellis K., Appliance Faith Healer

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

Three ducks: two have normal bills, third one has bill turned around like bill of cap.

Street violinists unknowingly plays a concert.

Mountain Bike tracks.

After review, the replay confirms a touchdown, and also that big, jiggly bellies look hilarious in slow motion.

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

Time For This Odd House

"Yes, I'm sure it'll work. They hate turkeys with bad taste."

"I can't get the Grease soundtrack out of my head."

A praying mantis bride throws her husband's head to a crowd of wedding guests.

'Sure I can chat - just let me pull over to the shoulder.'

'I don't care if you did say he could try it out. Get rid of him!'

"Absolutely not. I don't give my provenance over the phone."

"I was hoping my employee evaluation would be more than, 'You don't suck.'"