Delayed Gratification Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Is the seven year flowering cactus in bud yet?'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

Signs of Stress

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

Procrastinators Incorporated

"Only four more weeks before school is out...and then we're free for the time of our lives!"

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

'I brought in a big order and my boss gave me a feather for my cap.'

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

"It's a bicycle. My dad lost our Christmas club money in Atlantic City so I won't get the rest of it until my birthday."

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

Train Arrivals

Suspense

"Welcome to the Department of Delayed Gratification. Take a number."

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

Seeds. Instant coffee plantation.

"If we hurry, you might still make this Sunday's 'Times' obits."

"We texted you for cookies about 10 minutes ago. We don't like to be kept waiting Amber."

"Promise you won't open it before Christmas?"

The speediness of today's world and its logical conclusion.

Who needs a TV? We connect the cable directly to your brain!

'It's my new 'get treats' incentive program.'

Rail Platform Information: I Speak Your Wait.

"I'd like to welcome you all to the procrastinators club. I move we defer the reading of the minutes of the last meeting until our next meeting...which has been postponed!"

Darn it, why do I always pick the slowest line? Hell.

'These home brew kits are great... I reckon they'd taste even better if I were to give them a chance to ferment!'

"Let's wait ten more minutes so that we will be on time for being late."

I don't know why people say bad things about instant gratification. Personally, I have only one complaint about it: it takes too long.

"I know he's a regular customer Miss Jones, but a loyalty card will suffice..."

"I know we don't need any, but I feel like some instant gratification."

1 hour delay, 2 hour delay, 3 hour delay.