Degree Seekers T-Shirts

"Sorry, but you need at least a Masters to get into the Deep Woods."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Make a lot of money."

Continuing education.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Exam

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"And you need to know this why?"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

Day one, post grad

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.

Weapens of Mass Instruction

Pinara fund

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'