Defense Systems Pillows

"Congratulations, General. The anti-missile system wasn't fooled by the decoy balloon."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

dog vs UFO...

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

US fears missile competition.

"I'm gonna want that taxidermied."

Automation of Security

"Here's the weak point."

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

"Tell Congress we need a super duper hypersonic missile."

How To Cut The Defense Budget

Cyberwarfare

"Today U.S. Defense Industry stocks rose on news Dick Cheney endorsed Donald Trump."

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

'Mr. Schmenk will see you now...IN PERSON.'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

"Here we go....in-flight refueling."

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'