Defender Of The Trivial T-Shirts

"This firm has a long history of bringing gravitas to frivolous lawsuits."

That shows business confidence.

Man showing in the rain.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

Give up all my possessions? Did I say Buddhist? I meant Boatist. I'm a boatist.

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'Since money can't buy happiness, we have decided to go paperless.'

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

"Things moving too fast. We need to get back to our roots. And grubs."

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

"But is it..?"

Diogenes and tourists

"I know it's only a thumbnail sketch, but I quite like it!"

Shaker Cornucopia

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

"You call this a mere bagatelle?"

" 'Perceptual and kinetic art have an intertwined development that cannot be totally disentangled; nevertheless perceptual, optical, or "virtual" movement—which always exists in tension with factual immobility—is an experience of a different order.' "

Vote! Wally Yomp, Congress: 'I promise to put the toilet seat down.'

"Is that all you can say—'It's not messy'?"

'I wish I could be as calm as JB when it comes to making decisions.'

'No thanks. This patch stops me craving for superflous functions.'

Godot Bound And Gagged In A Dark Office

"I always wanted to be nothing in the City."

You're right, judge: I don't have a legal leg to stand on. Obviously, I need to lie down in your chambers before I fall over. Why don't you look in on me in a few minutes?

'Just because!'

"I like how you keep things simple."

'Mininalism is a bit Lower Paleolithic Era, don't you think?'