Defender Of The Innocent Gifts

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

America, are we learning anything?

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Snow Devil

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

Arizona In Black

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Free speech isn't cheap!

Route 666

"Ha! So much for environmentally friendly behaviour!"

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

Justice 4 Ron

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"Countless observations and calculations based on the scientific method led me to the conclusion that the center of the universe is not planet earth, but. . ."

Domestic Spying Drones

"Where do you see yourself in five years? Haha, just kidding!"

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

Freedom of Speech

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."