Defender Of The Innocent Pillows

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

America, are we learning anything?

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Snow Devil

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

Arizona In Black

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Route 666

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

Free speech isn't cheap!

Studied the Constitution. Didn't like it.

"Ha! So much for environmentally friendly behaviour!"

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

Justice 4 Ron

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"Countless observations and calculations based on the scientific method led me to the conclusion that the center of the universe is not planet earth, but. . ."

Domestic Spying Drones

"Where do you see yourself in five years? Haha, just kidding!"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'