Defender Of The Cubicle Gifts

Welcome to middle management. Here's your shield.

"This position has become very important to the company."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Do Not Resuscitate

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

I think, theerfore I am underpaid

In, Out, Shake it all about

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

'Think' 'But not too much'

"He can give you five minutes if you can find him."

Thinking outside the cubicle

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'There always seems to be ONE trouble-maker in the company who gets a sick thrill from rebelling against our corporate culture!'

'Our company hasn't changed much over the years. Most ideas still come from the top.'

Time Clock.

"It doesn't do you any good being depressed about your job, because you're stuck doing it for the rest of your life."

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

'Frankly, we're looking for someone very much unlike you.'

'My therapist defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.'

"What time is it mentally?"

'How can a man jump out of a window if the damned window can't be opened.'

"Appointments. Disappointments."

'Apparently the new boss is a real Queen Bitch from Hell.'