Defence Secretary Gifts

Denis Healey

'You don't actually have a tank, do you?'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Copycats

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Out and In.

37 years in the same position.

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Storm in the out tray

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

Here and There Trays

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"Morning, all!"

Someone who knows apostrophes

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Time for More Paperwork

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."