Defeatism Aficionado T-Shirts

"Doing something never solves anything."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

The life of penguins.

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

'If elected, I promise to my darndest to keep money in politics.'

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

"Here's the weak point."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"Today U.S. Defense Industry stocks rose on news Dick Cheney endorsed Donald Trump."

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

Belated Birthday Cards

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

Builders fighting over projects.

"How about that! Wanda, you also landed on cheese."

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

How to throw your voice: 'I am guilty. I did it. I confess.'

"No, it's not real, but it does wonders for school bus discipline."

Defensive EU

"Looks like we've taken care of the enemy and pretty much everything else."

Why do we have pistols? I thought we were back-to-back to see who is taller!

I can't decide if you make me want to be a better man, a better lawyer or a better liar. ! !

"You took your time!"

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

The Last Powerpoint

Beginning fires for the winter - Something wrong with the chimney.

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

"Could you access your online dictionary for the definition of 'sayonara'?"

"We're not that kind of SWAT team, ma'am."

'If Larry didn't stay in touch with his imaginary childhood friends, he wouldn't have any clients at all.'