Argumentative Aficionado T-Shirts

'No I'm not and so are You! You are so wrong it's so obvious I'm right! You need to be more open minded and just agree with what I'm saying...'

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

Sulk Shows

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

Corporate Darwinism

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

'He started it!'

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

Brexit negotiations had reached a critical stage.

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

'...And now, stay tuned for 'America's Funniest Presidential Debates'!'

Auguste Comte

"...and to save you time, anything I say that comes back to haunt me, was something taken out of context."

Be objective - never take your own side in an argument.

Poetry debate

'He was very big in Vienna.'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'