Deep-sea Fun-seeker T-Shirts

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

Pirate eye test

The Final Selfie

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

"Like I know, dude...but this wave is so awesome!"

Two divers sword fighting under water with swordfish

Fisherman has his dinghy punctured by a swordfish.

"I see you've come prepared for an in-depth interview."

'Kiss me Hardy.'

'Have you been under much pressure lately, Mr. Verne?'

Diver with metal detector thinks he has located treasure but he has located atomic waste.

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

'My hubby's gone fishing, he'll be having a whale of a time.'

Scientists find a giant plug in the ocean - 'I don't know what it means either, but for Pete's sake don't touch it!'

Scuba texting

"If you swim upside-down like this you can sneak up on prey easier since they can't see your fin. . ."

The groundhog, unable to see his shadow, goes in for a cataract operation.

So Lonely 'Twas (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"I want to explore the brutal and true civilisation, to explore lands on troubled by tourist boards, and if you could sort five-star accommodation and decent Wi-Fi that would be perfect."

"Rats, we can't bow ride this one: it's a hovercraft..."

"You usually don't see them so close to people who urinate in the water."

Atlantis, a case of a poor city water planning.

'Have you farted?'

'Come back lads, it's 'armless.'

"Honestly, Edna, he just wasn't worth it!"

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

That Sinking Feeling

Scuba diver using beer rather than air.

It's always the one you least expect that turns on you.

To be as inconspicuous as possible, Dr. Bloom designed his bathysphere to look like something...well, edible.'