Decorating Rebels Pillows

Christmas in jail.

I did it my way.

"Surprise!"

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

Non-Uniform Day Today.

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I wish I'd never bought Harold that 3-D printer."

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

Zero gravity ahead.

Outlaw Quilting Bees

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

The Ladies of Kew took baking very seriously.

"Take it easy - that one's attached to my nipple."

Preparing to paint an un-still life.

Unable to repair the On/Off switch, the electrician simply relabeled it.

No Ball Games in the Park

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

Roundabout/Don't Know How To Use Roundabout

'What difference does it make - all roads lead to Rome!'

'Admit it, we're lost again! Frankly, you're the worst Pilot Fish I've ever had...'

Men's Wear. With that fashion statement, it's lucky for you that we have the first amendment!

The t-shirt over the long-sleeve is fine

'I know about the council cutbacks - but it's not my idea of 'festive lights'...'

Going Under the Horse Jump.

Punk painting his walls 'White with a hint of puke'

Are you looking at my red trousers?

How're you making money if not charging older ladies for dates? Reviewing products on online shopping sites. I give them one or two stars, maybe three. Unless the product manufacturer pays me, in which case I give the products five stars and a rave. You're kidding me. Nope. I want in. Get yourself your own scam.

The Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey divorce confirmed.