Decor Lovers Pillows

"That commemorates the best slice in midtown."

"Look who found God."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"You're welcome."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Posh Easter Egg

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

King Madras

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

Cat being licked by plant.

"I tidied away all the cushions and stuffed toy animals. It appears we never had a bed."

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

'I've organised the bathroom.'

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"We need to talk."

"That's still too high"

Live, laugh, love

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

Meanwhile back at the pond 'Wow... nice pad man!'

'The old one fell apart.'

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."