Decor Enthusiasts Gifts

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

"I suppose owning everything in the world gives him a certain cachet."

"Hi. I'm Steve. I see you here all the time."

"This whole rustic look is getting to be a bit of a bore."

'I love what you've done with the place.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"You're welcome."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Board Game Hunter

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

Posh Easter Egg

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

Pea green

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

King Madras

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."