Deception Humorist Pillows

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

Turtle Hat

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"I meant the dog!"

The life of penguins.

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"It's a setup."

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

Yes, you are speaking to Grandma.

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"I knew it, there is an autocorrect demon!"

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"See...polystyrene!"

"They're not home.."

Stealth grazing.

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

How to throw your voice: 'I am guilty. I did it. I confess.'

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'