Deception Analyst Pillows

"Forgive me Father, I lied on my 'reason for unsubscribing.'"

"We fell for this last time remember..."

Love at First Sight

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

Turtle Hat

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Defence Cutbacks.

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

The life of penguins.

"It's the kind of missile system that says, 'Hey, these peace negotiations aren't really going very well.'"

Oooops!

US fears missile competition.

Sportswasher's

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

AUKUS Deal Annoys France

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

The Generals medals

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'I believe the use of elastic- bands is down to the new government defence cut-backs!'

"How long do you think we'll get away with it?"

'At last! Some decent kit.'

"By George, that should do it - as long as we don[t bomb our own men again "

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

Don't Worry, Joe, about Afghanistan

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

Defence Cuts: 'This is getting serious Sergeant, bring up the re-enforcements!'

'Psst. It's okay in here, but don't go around calling $690 billion 'chump change.''

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

"It's a setup."

Turkey Blocks Swedish and Finnish Nato Bids

General's Coin Toss