Debunker Pillows

That guy sees a conspiracy theory against the country everywhere he looks. There's a treason for everything!

Science deniers Soc.

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"Stinkin' fake news!"

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

Standard And P****d.

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

People, please listen. I'm talkin 'bout the income gap. The top one percent of Americans get one third of the nation's income, over double what they got in 1980. One-third. The income for the top 0.01% is 196 times the bottom 90%. Your wages have stagnated and the super-duper rich have gotten super-duper richer! How can you possibly swallow your coffee? Because you're making me do math before noon!

God in the bunker.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

Deficit...

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"We thought we could put in the details later."

Slam Dunking the Outtray

Superstition City

"If you hold it up to your ear you can hear the sloshing sound of trillions of dollars worth of unsecured debt."

Safe harbour

Office of Management & Budget. Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the U.S. budget deficit.

'Come in! come in!'....we'll see what we can do about your ongoing, way-to-fast growth problem!'

"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."

'Remember how we used to put stuff on layaway?'

"But you really can't trust the media."

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"Randy, please. Don't believe ever stupid social media fake nonsense."

"I'm sorry, sir, but this survey does not allow for that opinion."

Frank was right not to trust statistics...the numbers lie!

Sorry Hapgood, a rise is out of the question. How about a loan?

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

'Yes, we might make stupid loans to countries that hate us, but we can't loan money to U.S. citizens like you!'

Donald Trump

Out-tray Paper Aeroplanes