Debt Detractor Gifts

"For admission, we consider the student's grades, test scores and credit score."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Recession

The United States Public Debt.

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

'A belt will have to be tightened...not the cars...yours.'

"Italy's national debt runs into trillions. How do you repossess a country?"

Pandora's box.

It's 10 p.m. Do you know why stocks rise and fall, but the U.S. National debt keeps going up?

Standard & Poors, you dirty dog! Don't pick at our AAA rating!'

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

'It's your debt to society.'

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

"The dow is over 21,000!"

"That wasn't supposed to happen!!"

'When does a tax increase not sound like a tax increase?'

The Pessimist, the Optimist and the Obamamist.

Student Debt

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

"All in favor of a cap on our liability?"

'Is it okay to put my credit card payment on my credit card?'

"Your financial situation was built on a house of cards. Credit cards."

"I'm here to pay off the last loan installment!"

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

Buy now... pay later

GDP-DEBT Struggle.

"Our flag means debt."

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

"Someday this will all be yours!"