Debt Detectives Gifts

'From living beyond our means, we've gone to living beyond our wildest expectations!'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Crisis'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

IRS Audit Section

Customer Convention

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

Eurobonds Explained.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

Financial Corruption

"We need to discuss your expense account."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."