Debt Consultation Gifts

Client speaking to a legal advisor

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Standard And P****d.

STRIP *Community Care * 'client empowerment' policy

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

Recession

The United States Public Debt.

". . . We're being sucked into the UK national debt!"

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

Third World debt interest repayments/ charity aid

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

It's 10 p.m. Do you know why stocks rise and fall, but the U.S. National debt keeps going up?

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

"It covers up all the debt."

Kicking The Habit

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'

'Of course I have unpaid loans, what other kind is there?'

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'It's your debt to society.'

Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)

"The dow is over 21,000!"

'When does a tax increase not sound like a tax increase?'

Life plan

The Pessimist, the Optimist and the Obamamist.

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'