Debate Clubber Gifts

'I'd like to accept the blame for the things that are my fault, but that would set a dangerous precedent.'

'No...I'M the leader!'

The One Demographic that Trump has not yet succeeded in insulting....

'Trouble is, the plan has already jump-started him!'

'Well, having a general opinion that fits every topic keeps him from wasting words...'

No party politics beyond this point.

'Now, moving on to rape and murder, it's helpful, I think, to consider the two standard British light bulb fittings.'

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

The Entire Justice System is Rigged....Except for that Hunter Biden Case Obviously.

"And another thing!"

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Loan Alley

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Sober Tooth Tiger

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"Do kids eat free?"

"Oh isn't that your squeeze slithering this way?"

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

Weapons supplies to Ukraine. . . Weapons supplies to Russia.

"It's late. I am not getting into another heated discussion with you."

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."

"According to national law you're innocent but national law counts less than. . ."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'If experience is the best teacher, why can't I get a student loan?'

A clown has a revelation at the shrink 'And then one day it dawned on me Doc... we're just not funny!'

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"