Dealing With Taxes Pillows

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Counting dollars

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

IRS Audit Section

Dance of the sugar plum tax attorneys.