Helping With Taxes Pillows

"E. R., ACME Accounting: 11:57 P.M., April 14th"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Flat tax - equal burden?

The transparent safe box of Panama

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Panama Papers Scandal

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'