Dealing With Tax Issues Gifts

Tax grab.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"Today workers in socialistic economies sought private sector solutions. Workers in predominantly private sector economies want more socialism."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'You can buy low and sell high, but they still tax you right down the middle!'

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'

'I didn't make any money last year because you destroyed my incentive the year before.'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

"He's hit, and he's hurt. Now we'll follow his audit trial and finish him off."

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

'This administration is getting desperate. Now they say I owe taxes on the gains from my practice account.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'Here's where they added the flat tax.'

Low rates!

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

"I'm afraid the tax authorities won't allow you to claim your wife as a depreciating asset."

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

"It looks like they're getting tougher, honey."

'You have cheated on your income tax and you're going to have to pay the penalty. Sorry Dad.'

'Bonds dropped on news that interest rates might rise... stocks dropped on news that taxes might rise...'

It may not be catchy, but "I Got Those Capital Gains Tax Blues" sure works here on Wall Street.