Dealing With Inheritance Pillows

'Ms. Avery left each one of you, ten million dollars...unfortunately, her estate is only worth seven dollars and sixteen cents.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'I 'Marvo the magician', being of right mind...have taken it with me.'

"Did you once admire your Aunt's kitchen towels?"

'Your grandfather's will is quite specific. You just get his ashes... and those only after they're been sifted and any gold teeth removed!'

"She left you nothing. Sorry for your loss."

'Maybe, but I think we should hire a lawyer anyway.'

"Down the corridor, third right, and take with you as many as you think you'll need."

"Spent much of his life sucking up to people. Left you all his brownie points."

"Although many thought your uncle to be wealthy..."

"I can't wait to see what George left me in his will."

The Heirs

"... and to my husband I leave f*** all!"

"All that money that used to be working for me is now working for my ungrateful son."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"One day son, all this will be run by robots."

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"Someday this will all be yours...assuming that someday you'll have enough to buy it from me."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

Contest of wills.