Dealing With An Inheritance Pillows

'Your father didn't exactly leave his brain to science. He left it to his psychiatrist to settle an outstanding bill.'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"One day son, all this will be run by robots."

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Someday this will all be yours...assuming that someday you'll have enough to buy it from me."

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

Contest of wills.

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. Sorry."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'