Dealing With A Sick Child Gifts

'While we realize it's difficult having a sick child at home, Mrs. Mote, we believe you sent Philip back a little soon.'

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

'We'll have him back on his feet and under yours in no time!'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"GP or chemist? To be on the safe side let's go to A and E."

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

"...Well, yes. There is some good news... If you believe in reincarnation."

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

Alzheimer's Amusement Park

Life and Death.

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."

GALLSTONE SPECIALIST: This too shall pass

"Don't you think it's time to admit to yourself that this rash will not clear up on it's own."

'I'd like to exchange these cola can tokens for a book on hyperactivity.'

'If you're bored do some writing.You could start by writing your will.'

'You'll turn into a butterfly.'

"Hopefully my body language tells you all you need to know."

Cold Call