Deal Decoder Pillows

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Sale.

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Paw readings

DIY horror.

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

The Bargain Brand

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"You get one every time you order something online."

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

Boomerang Sale! - No Returns

Black Friday

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.