Day Of The Dead Devotee Pillows

Halloween Tree

"How much longer are you going to be?"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

Military Medals

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

Monuments

"The president is awarding the Medal of Honor to 24 Army veterans...whose heroism and gallantry were overlooked because of their race or ethnicity."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

UNFADED GLORY

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

"Hel-l-l-o-o-o-o Summer!"

Lucky Stars.

Scars and Bars

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

The Blob's Blog.

'Son...old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue.'

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

"So, Gilbert was your friend who fought in Vietnam?"

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"