Day Drinking Strategist Prints

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

"I can't cook, but I can pay."

"I don't know—my gut tells me I should have another beer."

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

'Technically, you do qualify for five weeks of vacation, but your request for 35 Sundays off has to go under review.'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

"Ken does know that isn't real money, right?"

"I forgot to call in dead."

Standoff

'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'

"Do we have to go Dutch tonight, Arnie? I fancy a Chinese."

When the cats realized that Hubert had permanently taken over their favourite couch, they took action.

'It's going to be a long school year...'

'But I couldn't run in front Dad - I didn't know the way!'

Christmas drinker

'A simple 'I like mine hard boiled' would have done!'

'If I work at home and I'm sick, do I have to go to the office?'

April Showers

'I need a sick note to cover me for the London Olympics.'

Excuses to not go to work - 'Dial An Excuse'

"Soup of the day."

Limit your results by. . .

'You'll get wet. Why don't you use your new umbrella?'

"Do you have anything that would make him seem a lot more attractive?"

'I won't be in to work today... I woke up with a bug.'