Daughter Going To College Gifts

'How will we pay for her college.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"My homework ate my dog."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

Student Debt

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Joins The Football Team

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Student Food Pyramid

Believing that clothes make the man, Dave goes for the 'smart guy' look.

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

Frat House Feng Shui

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

"I just got the place feeling like home again and now it's time to go back to college."

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'