Daughter Going To College Gifts

'How will we pay for her college.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"My homework ate my dog."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

Student Debt

Believing that clothes make the man, Dave goes for the 'smart guy' look.

Student Food Pyramid

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

Frat House Feng Shui

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

"I just got the place feeling like home again and now it's time to go back to college."

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."