Dating Profile Explorer T-Shirts

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"He gets easily abstracted."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Online Dating

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"I just love a nice knight out."

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

"Arthur, I need my space."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Heart to heart talk.

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

Waterfall of Disappointment

Worm Bed

Counseling $10. This end up. I think we're making progress. I want to kill you both.

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."