Dating Etiquette Pillows

"If I can't pay you for dinner can I at least give you a little something for sex afterwards?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

Life is for the birds.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Romance

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

So Close..

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

'Cow in love'

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."