Dating Dialogue Aficionados T-Shirts

"The kids used to call me four eyes because of my glasses. Did you have any nicknames growing up?"

"Call me?"

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

Biological Cuckoo clock

Banana Smoothie

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'