Dating Daredevil Pillows

'Sorry, the GSOH in my ad stood for 'Got Syphilis On Holiday'.

Dating a Dentist

'Well, thanks for this evening. I'd invite you in, but I find you extremely unattractive.'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Chaplain Speedo: speed dating, express marriage, quick counseling, overnight divorce. Drive Thru.

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"Take him home, have sex...Then bite his goddamn head off."

"Now that's reality TV."

"I hope you don't think I'm the type of girl who would look up from her phone on the first date."

'You are a cat person!'

speed dating - "Hello, goodbye."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Look I've already said, I'm not going to bed with you on our first date"

'So -- how did your date go? 'Lousy! -- She tried to impose her moral standards on me!'

"This is definitely the last time I arrange a date over the internet!"

"Call me!"

'I don't usually invite a guy in after the first date, but...how are you at emptying mousetraps?'

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Bad fake tan day.

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

'Atomic Ski Bum' An extreme skier is showing off!

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

YOLO vs YODO

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'I count only four parachutes. Where's Mr. Simms?'

'Helen, you're the team leader, why don't you jump first?'

Washing Line Walker

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'