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"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"Thanks for that."

"Hold on one second I'm just scrolling through your Instagram to get to know you."

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

"I need a man who will commit."

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"