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'Well yes, I did ask for someone with a sense of humor.'

It seemed 'warmth in winter, shade in summer' was not as complimentary as Kevin first thought

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

The perfect man

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"She said don't forget the straw."

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

Russian Dating.

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Mate Mart

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

Borrow the Bag?

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'