Date Night Planner Pillows

"Susan, this might be just the wine talking, but I think I want to order more wine."

"If you knew how many times I changed my clothes before coming here, you wouldn't ask me to take them off."

Friendly Offer or Hostile Bid? "What do you say to a movie and then we go get some Chinese?"

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Couples Massage

"Come on, let's have kids. Next week you can pick a restaurant."

Restaurant in the Strand.

"It's an aggressive little wine with a smoky aftertaste and a hint of vanilla. Guaranteed to help you get your leg over!"

I need to lose weight, and fast...my date's here in 20 minutes.

'You look lovely darling, but it's a bit over the top for a first date. . .'

'Can we get this to go? There's a ball game on TV.'

Rose

'I'm waiting for the right introduction agency to come along.'

'I thought this was a steak house. Why is the decor for this restaurant pieces of cars and trucks?'

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

"Healthy, wealthy and wise, for starters ... "

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

Relationship Venn

"I need a really great pair of marry-me pumps."

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

"Yes, I realize that we are free agents, but I have to take on the additional risk of pregnancy and am more susceptible to certain sexually transmitted diseases, so I think you should pay for the movie."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Yum! I should have ordered dessert, too—can I try yours?"

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

Kissing limited to one hour.

"So long have you been with Better Homes and Gardens?"

'I need to be honest with you. I'm lying.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

They hadn't realised how much having a baby would affect their sex lives.

Jack and his cheep date.

"We switch off movie going between chick flicks and even more emasculating flicks."