Date Night Dynamos Pillows

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Cossack dancers

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

"You and your daft inventions."

Another blind date ends badly for Jimbo the Clown.

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"Would you like to meet Kate? She's an acceptable risk."

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

"What wine would you recommend to compliment stony silence?"

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"You look sharp, like a carefully aged Cheddar."

"What's wrong, hon? You haven't touched my food."

Bebaaaaaaaop! (sheep)

'I like this place because the waiters are attentive without being obtrusive!'

Colin knew things were going well when he saw his date trying to make him jealous.

"No pressure but, now that you've got my attention - fascinate me."

Politically Correct Dictionaries

Now that the last child had finally left for college, Dot and Neville went through the usual 'empty nest' grieving process.

"Get whatever you want. My mom's paying."

Two dancers in bejeweled suits and flat caps

Trapeze artist with very long arms

Knife and Fork Costume

'Son, you just got your first credit card and you're going on a date. My advice: keep it in your pants.'

'It will never work between us, Charles. I'm merlot, cabernet, chardonnay and pinot noir. You're a wine cooler.'

"Well Mom, thanks for setting us up, getting me to the restaurant on time, and getting the conversation started, but I think I can take it from here."