Date Night Daredevil T-Shirts

Another blind date ends badly for Jimbo the Clown.

"Wow, she didn't freak out when he introduced us as his pets: this one is a keeper!"

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

Pull and all nighter...

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

Work avalanche

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

Stacked In Tray

"Look I've already said, I'm not going to bed with you on our first date"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Don't even think about it!'

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

'Sorry, but I won't discuss my financial portfolio on a first date.'

"Well, if you must know, he makes me laugh."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

Deadline

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

Lovers hop, skip, jump & leap: Hedge...ledge...edge...Reg & Midge

"What wine would you recommend to compliment stony silence?"

'I solemnly - whooooaaah - delcare...'

'Okay, so you've proved a point - you really do love me!'

"Did you notice the smirk on his face when he said 'enjoy'?"

'Your meal should be along shortly. Frank just went out to hunt it.'

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

'But enough about my interiority, how about you?'

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

'So -- how did your date go? 'Lousy! -- She tried to impose her moral standards on me!'