Date Gifts

"We're not afraid of you. My date's an accountant. There's strength in numbers."

"Don't be shy Kevin. My mum and dad won't bite."

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

Burt rarely went on a first date without his cellulite detector,

"Yes, I'm late, but I don't have a watch and it's overcast: how am I supposed to tell the time?"

"Exactly how entrenched is your beard?"

"Things are really heating up between us. We need to break up."

'...and then, when I asked if I could see her home, she showed me a photograph of her house.'

'What I'm about to say, Miss Pomeroy, may shock and disgust you....'

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

'It's a small apartment. I'd invite you in, but there's only enough room for me.'

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

With the family car in the shop for repairs, Jason borrowed his dad's truck to take his date to the prom.

'You have beautiful pixels.'

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

'When I said you could pick me up at 8, I assumed you owned a car.'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

To paraphrase Bette Davis, "Fasten your seat belt. It's going to be a bumpy comic strip." ?

"I hit 'like' on a revealing photo she'd posted. But then I worried that was too forward of me."

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

Do you mind if I nibble on your exclamation points? !!!

I'm having a Thanksgiving get-together, Mort, but my date's bringing her grandma. Want to come along to keep her company? I'm avoiding Thanksgiving this year. I hear there's an awful turkey-borne illness going around. Best to play it safe. Turkey? Who said anything about turkey? I'm serving the patented "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's Sexy Holiday Meal." A dozen oysters, chocolate chunks, red wine, and Marvin Gaye playing softly in the background. Be there at 4:30. Sorry, that's past my bedtime.

"I thought you were fun, but then I realised I'd confused you with your socks."

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"Enough about me. Tell me about you in five words or less."

"But enough about me and why I find your yoga practice, vegan diet and leftist philosophy so annoying – let’s talk about you."

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."