Data Whisperer Gifts

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Bureau of Rosy Statistics

'We've got a nice looking trend line here - I'd like to thank the entire team for contributing this data, including Gerald, for the outlier.'

A survey taker distills the voices of the many into his ear.

Mr. Frog. Poll. Poll. I'm not looking forward to this. Amphibians can never make up their minds --- first it's one way and then the other.

"...however..."

"Finally, a co-worker who CAN handle Big data!"

Cloud Computing

"Yeah, I've been radio-tagged by scientists, so once a week, out of spite, I do something irrational just to mess up their data..."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Computer Expert

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Pandora's box.

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

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