Data Recovery Gifts

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

Spa

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Danger Slow Sand.

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

Violent Crime Statistics

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."