Data Modeling Gifts

'This is our Fact Table.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Fear/Knowledge

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

The Style of Elements

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

The Hobby Store

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'